Flakiness is a pet peeve for many people, and for good reason. No one likes an unreliable person who suddenly cancels on you, sometimes, without prior notice.
This is what happened to a woman whose longtime friend agreed to attend her wedding. However, the latter was a no-show during the big day, prompting the bride to begin cutting ties.
The story could’ve ended there, but the friend began sending “weird” voicemails as a response. Scroll through to find out the full details.
No one likes a flaky friend who constantly cancels on plans
Image credits: Leonardo Miranda (not the actual image)
This was the root of the drama between these two longtime friends
Image credits: micheile henderson (not the actual image)
However, the friend began to get flaky
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro (not the actual image)
She didn’t show up for the day itself, urging the bride to begin cutting ties
Image credits: sodawhiskey (not the actual image)
Instead of apologizing, the friend responded with a weird and insulting message
Image credits: Nowtinit
Flakiness is “self-handicapping behavior”
Being suddenly ditched by someone who said yes to you can sting. It shows a blatant disrespect for your time, and in the story’s case, for the bride’s plans and expenses. That leaves the person questioning why, and especially whether the person who flaked out is a good friend.
According to psychotherapist and author Dr. Steven Berglas, one reason is the flaker’s poor time management skills, compounded by their belief that they can handle everything.
“A lot of people overestimate their abilities. They overburden themselves and don’t leave time to be prepared for critical tasks, so they fail. It’s self-handicapping behavior,” Dr. Berglas explained.
For clinical psychologist Dr. Andrea Bonior, the fear of conflict may also be a reason why many people no-show their commitments or give a last-minute excuse as to why they are not showing up. That act of avoiding potential disputes may urge a person to say yes, even if they cannot guarantee their attendance.
“Some people just can’t say no, so they say yes in the beginning, then back out,” Dr. Bonior explained.
McGill University psychology professor Dr. Richard Koestner went as far as attributing flaky behavior to narcissism, given the lack of concern for how others may feel. And while he advises giving people the benefit of the doubt the first time, it’s a situation that may also require some deep evaluation.
“(Expressing your sentiments) may backfire, but it’s useful to learn that it may not be a relationship you want to be in,” Dr. Koestner said.
The woman’s passive-aggressive text may have worsened the situation, and she ultimately didn’t find out the reason why her friend was a no-show at her wedding. But given how things unfolded after, it may be clear that their relationship may be forever damaged and not worth keeping. It’s an unfortunate situation, but it happens in life.
People in the comments had some choice words
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