Emotional intelligence is underrated. Behaving like an entitled, toxic, hypocritical, immature, and manipulative human being is something that doesn’t give a damn about gender. In pop culture, so-called ‘nice guys’ and ‘nice girls’ are folks who pretend to be kind, only to show their true colors the moment things don’t go their way. They can’t take ‘no’ for an answer, say, when they get rejected by their romantic interests.

The ‘Nice Girls’ subreddit is a popular online forum where people share some of the worst examples of people being disingenuous for the sake of approval and love. Scroll down to check out how these individuals communicate online so that you know what red flags to look out for. Oh, and keep in mind that this is all about calling out toxic behavior. There’s no room for sexism here.

#1 Sorry For Asking About Your Interests I Guess?

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The bad news is that emotional intelligence (abbreviated as EQ or EI) doesn’t come naturally to all people. The good news? Like any other skill, you can learn and develop it.

The Harvard Business Review explains that there are 4 main components of EQ. These are:

Self-awareness: identifying your emotions and how they affect other people
Self-regulation: managing your emotions and behaviors to control your disruptive impulses
Social awareness: being empathetic and understanding the emotions of others
Social skills: the ability to build and maintain healthy relationships through teamwork, inspiration, influence, conflict management, etc.

#2 Seemed To Take Rejection Well, Till She Posted Me On “Are We Dating The Same Guy”

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#3 “I Make A Lot Of Money More Than Others.” So That Gives The Right To Ask A Rude Question

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HBR notes that individuals who have high emotional intelligence understand the links between their emotions and behavior. They also handle stress well, remaining calm, cool, and collected when things get tense. Meanwhile, they’re able to effectively use diplomacy and tact to handle difficult people.

On the other side of the scale, people with low EQ:

Get upset very easily
Get overwhelmed by their emotions
Often feel misunderstood
Have problems being assertive

#4 Unreal, I Can’t Escape Them

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#5 Back Story: We Talked A Few Years Ago. Never Dated, Because Of The “The World Is Always Against Me” Behavior You’ll See Below

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#6 Nice Girl Found In The Wild

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“We are all having emotions all the time. The question is whether you are aware of these emotions and the impact they have on your behavior—and other people,” Margaret Andrews, the instructor of Emotional Intelligence in Leadership, former associate dean at Harvard University’s Division of Continuing Education, and executive director at the MIT Sloan School of Management, told Harvard Business Review.

Andrews added that people with strong self-regulation can take a deep breath during stressful situations, remain calm, and think before speaking or acting. On the other hand, individuals with low EQ, who can’t contain their impulses and negative emotions, “often set off a chain reaction of negative emotions in others.”

#7 We Had One Date. All Of This Was Texted Over A Span Of A Couple Of Days

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#8 Does This Qualify?

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#9 All Men Suck

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Broadly speaking, ‘nice guys’ and ‘nice girls’ are incredibly insecure. So, they resort to manipulation and pretence to get what they want.

Usually, they pretend to be nice (hence the name), kind, caring, and empathetic to create the illusion that they could be great people to date. When, in reality, they don’t have confidence, emotional intelligence, or genuine respect for others’ boundaries. In short, getting into a relationship with them would be a major mistake.

#10 One Of The Worst Profiles I’ve Seen

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#11 What Is She On Tinder For Then

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#12 Thought This Brief Exchange Was Amusing

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It’s not always obvious that someone’s only pretending to be the caring, mature, ‘genuine’ person they appear to be. Sometimes, you don’t pick up on the (not-so) subtle red flags. Other times, you want to believe someone’s better than they really are.

Red-flag behaviors that indicate that you might be stuck in a toxic relationship include things like your partner not supporting you, hostile communication, extreme selfishness, not caring about your needs, and a constant environment of hostility, envy, and jealousy.

#13 Is This A Nice Girl

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#14 Started Talking For About A Month

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#15 Whole Grown Beautiful Woman Demands Dinner

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According to Healthline, toxic partners are very controlling, dishonest, disrespectful, and pile on physical and mental stress.

They drain you, cut you off from your other social relationships, and make you feel as though you’re walking on eggshells.

Something’s very wrong if you feel like you can’t talk about serious issues with your significant other in an open, honest, healthy way.

#16 Girlfriend Loses Her Mind Because I Didn’t Get Her Food That She Specifically Told Me Not To Get

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#17 After Opening With Saying Her Greatest Strength Was Kindness, Then Saying My Flannel Shirt Was The Ugliest Outfit She’d Ever Seen, She Hit Me With This

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#18 This Person Broke Up With Me For Breaking Up With Them

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As per Verywell Mind, toxic significant others deplete your energy and make you feel devalued. These individuals blame you, disrespect your boundaries, and undermine your confidence.

You feel like you always have to cheer them up. Meanwhile, you’re constantly exhausted, angry, tired, and depressed. If you’re chronically unhappy after spending time with your romantic partner, you are not in a healthy relationship.

#19 Wanted Me To Be Obsessed After 2 Dates…

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#20 Am I Crazy?

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#21 “Long Time Listener, First Time Caller”

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The ‘Nice Girls’ subreddit is incredibly well-known. Created in the autumn of 2011, over the years, it has amassed a following of 1.2 million members.

The moderators stress the fact that you should never include anyone’s personal information in the posts you share on the sub. What’s more, there’s absolutely no space for sexism, racism, or any kind of intolerance.

#22 She Already Knew I Was Going To Be Watching A Movie

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#23 Bpd “E-Girl” Update

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#24 Probably The Most Down Bad I’ve Ever Seen A Girl

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According to the moderators keeping the community running smoothly, so-called ‘nice girls’ are women who complain that men are supposedly shallow while hypocritically focusing on their looks themselves.

They are also women who “hold others to the highest possible standard, but have no standards for themselves.”

#25 I’m Legitimately Curious Could I Have Handled This Better?

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#26 We Knew Each Other For 2 Days…

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#27 Can Anybody Make Sense Of This?

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Who are some of the worst ‘nice guys’ and ‘nice girls’ that you’ve ever interacted with, Pandas? How did they try to manipulate? How did they react when you rejected them? Were there any subtle red flags that showed their true colors? What do you think could help them become more self-aware, emotionally intelligent individuals?

If you feel like sharing your thoughts on this sensitive topic, you can do so in the comments at the very bottom of this post. See you there.

#28 I Thought I Blocked Her…

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#29 Green Bubble Hate Is Real

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#30 She Seems Pretty Nice

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#31 A Nice Girl

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#32 Dodged A Bullet On This One… Went On Two Dates And Told Her I’d Text Her The Next Morning… Started A New Job That Morning And Forgot. Tried To Own It

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#33 Saw Some Unhinged Dating App Conversations And Thought I Would Share…

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#34 Tried Getting Me To Pay For Her Broken Nail After Hookup

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#35 Michelin Stars Only

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#36 Nice Girl Implying I’m A Moron Apparently

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#37 Apparently Wanting Someone With Substance Is “Too Much”

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#38 Apparently Communication Is Racist

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#39 So Her Value Is At $15?

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#40 Crazy Ex Regularly Hits Me Up With Life Updates

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#41 Glad I Dodged A Bullet

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#42 We Talked For A Few Days And Then The Mood Changed Very Quickly

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#43 Said We Shouldn’t Be Friends Anymore Because I Opened Up That I Felt Left Out During A Gathering

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#44 Feels Like I Dodged A Bullet Here

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#45 Am I Crazy? I’m 37, She’s 33. I Feel Like I’m Crazy

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#46 An Interaction I Had With A Girl One Time…

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#47 My Ex Was The Ultimate Nice Girl, This Was Her Last Messages Before I Blocked Her

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#48 This Chick Went From 0-100 Over A Misinterpreted Phrase

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#49 I’ve Known This One My Entire Life

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#50 Thought This Went Here

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#51 I Think I Dodged A Bullet

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#52 I Feel Like She’s Going To Ask Me To Sign An Nda Next

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#53 I Don’t Think The Person (My GF) Who Sent Me This Is Bad But I Sense Immaturity And Not Niceness. Am I Reading Wrong?

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#54 I Just Wanted To Know If I Was Getting My Money Back…

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#55 “Your Not 6’8 Prove It”

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#56 Update To (Am I Crazy?)

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#57 Posted This On R/Tinder, Felt That It Fit Here Too

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#58 Think I Found One

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#59 From A Friend In A Small Town

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#60 This Is The First Time I’ve Seen This Sentiment Coming From A Woman And Not A Nice Guy

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#61 Imagine What Life Is Like With This Level Of Entitlement?

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#62 Figured This Belongs Here

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#63 All I Said Was Lmao…

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#64 Food Stamps Apparently

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#65 We Went On Two Dates A Few Years Ago

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#66 Matched With A Girl Yesterday. I Told Her I Had A Cat. She Asked Me To Get Rid Of It. I Don’t Even Know Her And Never Met Her

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#67 Interesting Start To The Weekend

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#68 Ftp Here. Got This One Yesterday. Didn’t Even Bother To Answer My Questions

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#69 When You Don’t Meet Someone’s Hidden Expectations…

Went out with a girl from Bumble. The plan was to meet in the afternoon at a cafe and then go for a walk along the river park. We did exactly that but also extended the date into getting boba and then after some dinner. Went to Chinese restaurant she picked out because it looked very traditional in her opinion. After we got the food she pulls the waiter over and talks somewhat aggressively with him in mandarin. I ask her if everything is okay and she goes “Oh yeah I had just had to tell them that this food is not real Chinese food” lol.

After dinner I tell her well it was nice meeting you, I gotta go home and get to some work that needs to be done, and suddenly her whole mood changes. While walking to the train station she says nothing but suddenly pulls me aside and goes “I want you to know I’m very angry with you. How could you just abandon me for the evening and leave me to suddenly have to make my own plans, it’s very rude and you ruined my evening now”. I apologize and tell her I haven’t experienced this situation before and that since we hanged for over 4hrs and more than what we originally planned I thought this was a good time to end it, but maybe it’s some cultural difference or something.

Anyways I get home and she suddenly sends me this angry text lol!