People don’t invite every single person they know to a wedding. The average wedding usually consists of 100-150 people, according to Wedgwood Weddings. Considering there are two sides of the family, some people usually get left behind the line, extended family and coworkers included.
Yet this particular coworker got so offended when her colleague didn’t invite her to her wedding that she cried discrimination. In an absurd twist of events, HR was involved, and the bride-to-be was forced to explain her reasoning in an official meeting. But do coworkers really qualify to attend one’s wedding if they’re not that much of a close friend?
A woman faced the wrath of her colleague for not inviting her to her wedding
Image credits: LightFieldStudios / envato (not the actual photo)
The colleague crossed the line when she went to HR about it
Image credits: Curated Lifestyle / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image credits: TraditionalGurSign
This is who you should really invite to your wedding
Image credits: Álvaro CvG / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Deciding who to invite to your wedding and who to leave out of the picture can be difficult. You don’t want anyone to feel slighted, but, at the same time, you may only want those closest to you to witness your special day.
The rules may seem simple: invite who you want. But wedding planners can offer some pointers to make that decision easier. Laetitia “LT” Townson of House of BASH in Atlanta told The Knot that you can judge by how the person makes you feel. “It’s not worth inviting people whom you don’t know well or those who will cause you stress.”
When it comes to colleagues, consider whether you hang out outside of work. If you only see these people on Zoom or engage in water cooler talk only, they’re probably not worth inviting to your wedding.
According to Hitched, “unless you’ve known them a long time and they’re super close pals that you spend time with in and out of the workplace, you can scratch colleagues off the invite list and it’s highly likely that no one will bat an eye.” Well, that last part might not be true for everyone – it certainly wasn’t for this woman.
If you decide not to invite a colleague and they confront you, it’s best to give them a direct answer and explanation. The wedding planners at Cotton & Bow recommend the following scripts: “While I’d love to have you there, we had to make some difficult cuts. It is unfortunately out of my budget to have more than 100 guests.” Or say something like: “My venue doesn’t allow more than 100 guests so we had to keep the guest list small.”
If you can’t get along with a coworker, the best strategy is to remain distant
Image credits: Getty Images / unspalsh (not the actual photo)
Workplace relationships are a lot like high school: we don’t choose the people we spend the bigger portion of our days with. Luckily, since we’re adults, we can handle difficult workplace relationships with more grace and emotional maturity than we did during our years of high school drama.
- First, experts recommend trying to empathize with your workplace nemesis. Try to understand the motives and reasons behind their behavior. Maybe they’re just craving friendship and community, and that’s why they want to be invited to your wedding. It doesn’t mean you have to invite them—maybe just engage in conversation every now and again.
- If they still act passive-aggressively towards you, set firm boundaries. Let them know you’re not interested in friendship if that’s too hard for you. Diane Barth from QZ suggests saying something like: “I’m afraid that I have to get some of my own work done, though, so I can’t stop and talk about it with you right now.”
- The experts at Walden University recommend bringing awareness to the problem by involving other coworkers or managers. “Often, mistreatment can come from a lack of awareness,” they note. “Your feedback can give your boss or leadership the opportunity to show the rude colleague how they are perceived and possibly motivate them to change their attitude and behavior.”
- If everything else fails, just focus on yourself. Practice self-care, decompress, and essentially mind your own business. Sometimes, problematic people just aren’t going to change, and we have to accept that.
The woman invited other coworkers with whom she was close for way longer
Most people agreed that the coworker was acting really weird
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