Therapy is an incredibly useful tool for people who need a little help sorting and working through their feelings and mental health. It offers guidance and can teach some of the most valuable life skills and lessons. And when a bit of advice changes your life, you just have to share it with others.

That’s exactly what these people did when therapist Emily Anderson, LLMSW, from Rise Wellness Collaborative, asked TikTok users their most insane revelations they had in therapy. Scroll down to find them below, and be sure to upvote those that made you realize some useful things.

While you’re at it, don’t forget to check out a conversation with therapist Emily, who started this discussion in the first place and kindly agreed to tell us more about it.

Image credits: feelingswithemily

#1

My therapist likes to point out when my mother has joined the conversation.

Image credits: Aly

#2

Self-sabotage is a form of control.

Image credits: pau

#3

Resentment is what you feel when someone crossed a boundary you never communicated with them.

Image credits: Maddi

Therapist Emily Anderson, LLMSW, from Rise Wellness Collaborative, tells Bored Panda that what inspired her to ask such a question online was a mix of curiosity and admiration.

“As a therapist, I get to witness so many powerful moments in the room, the kind that stop people in their tracks and shift the way they see themselves or their lives. I thought, what would happen if we opened that question up to the internet? And the responses were incredible,” she shares.

#4

Being an empath means as a child you were put in a position to manage and be hyperaware of other emotions and that was never your job.

Image credits: Jamila-San

#5

Anxious attachment isn’t about your partner but your parents.

Image credits: Roshmi

#6

“No reflecting after 9pm.”

Image credits: Kinsey Linnae

Anderson says that many clients come to revelations during their sessions, mostly related to a deep sense of shame.

“Shame for not enjoying parenthood the way they thought they should, for disliking their job, for not wanting a relationship with a family member, or for struggling in ways they believe they “should” be able to handle,” she says.

“As we start to gently unpack those experiences and reduce the secrecy that surrounds shame, clients begin to feel more free to make value-driven choices that feel true to them. There is no “right” way to feel. Emotions are signals, and when we meet them with curiosity instead of judgment, we learn so much about ourselves, our story, and the past that shaped us.”

#7

That sometimes if you meet someone and your mental health is worse around them it’s because you actually feel safe with them. (If they ain’t toxic obvi)

Image credits: Alicia.MP4

#8

That it is actually selfish to not let people who want to help, help you.

Image credits: icopythecat

#9

My therapist told me one time that I don’t always have to be the bigger person.

Image credits: ✨🍒🍀

She has come to some revelations during therapy, too, which she kindly agreed to share with us.

“One of the biggest for me was realizing how much of my life had been shaped by doing ‘the responsible thing.’ I chose a science degree in undergrad, not because I loved it, but because the job market felt stable. I got married young, had a child young, and eventually found myself feeling unfulfilled by choices that were practical but not truly aligned with what I wanted,” Anderson shares.

“It was through therapy that I finally said out loud what I think I had always known deep down: I wanted to become a therapist. But that meant going back to school with a baby at home, and it felt incredibly daunting. With support, I was able to start making brave choices instead of just safe ones. Now I’m a therapist, and sometimes I honestly can’t believe I get to live this life I once only dreamed about.”

#10

You’re laughing about it now, but there is a version of you that is crying.

Image credits: Emma Morales

#11

I’m a human BEING. Not a human DOING.

Image credits: Chrissy

#12

You can just leave the room/house/place when someone is yelling at you and won’t stop.

Image credits: Exasperated llama

Anderson believes that the revelations she and others have had in therapy probably couldn’t have been reached on their own.

“Therapy gave me a space I had found nowhere else. Being able to sit with someone trained to understand and support the complexities of my life allowed me to access insight I don’t think I could have unlocked on my own,” she says.

#13

The more you think negatively the more your brain makes that your primary pathway. You’re conditioning yourself to think negatively. You have to PRACTICE positive thinking to form a new pathway.

Image credits: kdrake123

#14

Anytime you feel angry, it’s probably another emotion. Anger puts you in control and feels safe, but you’re likely sad, anxious, neglected, etc. anger just feels better.

Image credits: alilann

#15

Radical Acceptance changed my life.

emily_marie91

Remove your emotions/past ruminating/future anxiety about something that happened to you, and accept it as a fact and don’t analyse why/how etc.

Sanne:

I’m a therapist and a client made a keychain for me with radical acceptance because she hated it at first but helped her the most. I love it!! (Both Radical acceptance and the keychain)

Image credits: Oluna

#16

You didn’t ask to be in this world. You are not obligated to have a relationship with your parents and don’t owe them anything if they didn’t do their job as a parent to make you feel loved.

Image credits: ali 🙂

“That said, I deeply believe that healing doesn’t only happen in therapy. We both hurt and heal in relationships, and places of community, whether through friendship, support groups, or even spaces like TikTok, can also be incredibly powerful. Sometimes the right words or a shared experience at the right time can open something in us. Therapy simply offers a consistent and intentional space to do that work with someone who can walk alongside you,” Anderson concludes.

#17

“They kept trying to put you in a box that you were never meant to fit in.” On how I always felt like I was “too much.”

Image credits: tracywithawhy

#18

Sometimes the feeling that you need to control everything is controlling you.

Image credits: Ada Forbes

#19

How about that chronic people pleasing is actually a form of manipulation.

Britt

People pleasing is just trying to control the emotions of others so you don’t have to feel uncomfortable.

Image credits: FrannnnnyGlasss🍉

#20

99% of our problems really do come from our parents and how we were raised.

Image credits: ALEXANDRA✨

#21

“The things we don’t like about others, are the qualities we don’t like about ourselves.” This BLEW my mind.

Image credits: Alexi

#22

Sometimes you confuse intuition with intrusive thoughts.

Image credits: Ams1212830

#23

Overworking is a trauma response.

Image credits: Holly Howe

#24

If you struggle eating because you don’t have energy to make a sandwich, you can just.. Eat the sandwich ingredients. Like a handful of lunch meat. A slice of cheese. You don’t have to put it together.

Image credits: Ever 🌱 | Writer | Artist

#25

Perfectionists tend to judge others based on actions, but themselves based on intent. Giving themselves a pass because they ‘meant well’.

Image credits: humptyonyourdumpty

#26

My therapist told me that I should consider that people may want to be around me just because they actually like me and not because of what I could do for them.

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#27

When you’re trying to discern what’s real or true for you: “Anxiety screams, intuition whispers.”

Image credits: Elena

#28

It’s ok to take the shortcut. Meal planning is too much today? Eat out. Don’t want to spend $$$. Taco Bell tastes good when no one is watching.

Image credits: Paige

#29

“Should” is, quite often, an agent of shame.

Image credits: Amber

#30

When overthinking a choice/decision just pick one and when you start doubting just say “I’ve made my choice and accept the consequences. All choices have consequences; I’ve decided with the least harmful ones to me.”

Image credits: dontbuyaticket

#31

“You attract the emotionally unavailable because you too are, in many ways, emotionally unavailable”. Those were fighting words.

#32

Anger is hurt’s bodyguard.

#33

All of my anxiety stems from fear of getting in trouble or being called out, so childhood stuff, and it was pretty easy to let go of once I realized.

#34

That I need to stop trying to make logic out of things that never came from a place of logic to begin with.

#35

When you feel shame about certain things, who is the one talking to you when you hear the shame in your head? I can bet it’s not you who just created the shame around this thing.

#36

The way others treat you or view you rarely ever has to do with you. It’s typically a reflection of their own hatred for themselves, life, their conditionings, trauma. Be free. Be you. 🖤👐🏼

#37

Had been carrying a lot of guilt for years, and all she said was “it wasn’t in your control, you were a kid” with a very concerned facial expression…the guilt immediately went away.

#38

Just because you have forgiven someone does not mean you owe them your time or a relationship. Forgiveness is for you, not anyone else.

#39

Having trust issues more than anything means you don’t trust yourself but you’re comfortable with disappointing yourself over others.

#40

That people have to actually sit with their feelings. Apologies are great but that doesn’t mean they won’t still be feeling angry for a bit.

#41

Choose ur thoughts like shoes. Cuz thoughts create emotions – emotions never come out of nowhere. You have the power to choose.

#42

“Is the situation a ‘fire’ or a ‘picture of a fire’.” Cus anxiety will tell you THEY’RE THE SAME DAMN THING.

#43

I said “I’m afraid I’ll die alone” and he said “you might.” 😂

#44

The reason you have a hard time respecting men is because you’ve never had a man respect you.

#45

Emotional regulation. Not everything needs a major reaction even though you are in Fight or flight mode.

#46

My therapist called me deceptive. Not to be confused with manipulative. But, deceptive. I’ve never stopped thinking about it. Read me for filth.

#47

She did NOT hold my hand when telling me I have severe CPTSD and having to cook my own meals and take care of myself at 8 years old was not normal and was in fact ✨ neglect ✨

#48

Forgiveness is a decision, not a feeling.

#49

Everyone has sick thoughts, weird thoughts, disturbing thoughts and random thoughts. The human brain thinks tens of thousands of thoughts a day.

#50

The anxiety you feel when someone’s angry at you is their energy and not your own and you don’t have to claim it.

#51

That all of my self destructive behaviour is really anger at others I’m not allowing myself to feel.

#52

I don’t need my parents to get better for me to get better, and their issues aren’t mine to solve.

#53

‘Rest is productive’ – with chronic illness it sounds so simple. But my therapist was pointing out that my trauma taught me that to receive any form of care/love I had to do something to earn it.

#54

You can’t rationalise OCD thoughts- hence why CBT won’t work. The more you try to think through them, the more you feed the beast.

#55

Anxiety is grief. If I can say what am I sad about it pops the balloon of anxiety.

#56

That all the guilt I carry with me is misplaced, not mine to carry and not my shame to feel. Still working through that.

#57

My therapist said he was going to stop treatment until I moved out of the house with my ex because you cannot heal until you have peace in your home (he didn’t actually but it made me move out).

#58

My dad still sees me as the age of when my parents got divorced. He’s stuck in that trauma so he sees me as the same 13year old. I’m 26.

#59

What I thought was me coping well with my cptsd was actually intellectualizing and I talk a lot but not every about myself. I was an illusion and not a person to a lot of people, even me.

#60

So much more than I thought stems from trauma. Even my values, for example, aren’t my own. They’re trauma responses. Like valuing stability, always making sure others feel seen/heard, always trying to not be bothersome, etc

#61

When my therapist told me that neglect wasn’t just parents not being around…and that I was clearly neglected as a child.

#62

Mine told me when you have that “I want to go home” feeling when you’re already home, it’s usually your subconscious wanting the comfort you had during infancy. Being swaddled, held, etc.

#63

Ppl who are upset when you set boundaries were benefiting from you having none

#64

Anger stems from fear. Now when I get angry I ask myself what about the situation scares me and it helps me better sort out of my feelings.

#65

That I label people as “forever” in my head so I act in a way that will make that outcome happen while neglecting my needs and not letting the relationship go it’s natural course.

#66

I didn’t realize that I didn’t have a childhood.

#67

That my commitment issues stemmed from seeing commitment to a job ruin my parents’ lives.

#68

The reason why my mom overly smothers me despite not doing it to my other siblings isn’t bc she thinks I’m incapable. It’s bc she had postpartum depression and feels guilty.

#69

‘What do you like to do?’ Drew a blank ‘okay, well what do you feel skilled at?’ Anything I could think of, I only engaged in for someone else’s benefit.

#70

We are never the victim, we always play a part in our own suffering.

#71

That I kept failing at things because it was subconscious self sabotage because it wasn’t actually what I wanted to be doing with my life.

#72

Don’t believe everything you think.

#73

I’m procrastinating not because I’m lazy but a perfectionist and don’t take action because I could fail.

#74

I have to constantly be achieving something in order to feel like my life is worth living or I’m stuck in limbo clueless. First gen immigrant daughter btw if anyone cares for the reason iykyk.

#75

My own thoughts were ruining my life and that could be re wired to not ruin my life.

#76

There is no such thing as “NEGATIVE emotions”. ALL emotions are useful, because they help you realise how stuff influences you. You have the RIGHT to be angry, as long as you use this as information to deal with problems, instead of letting the anger control your actions.

#77

ED is basically the patriarchy trying to keep women small.

#78

You have no inner monologue so without that distraction you access memories and thoughts faster so you get irrationally angry at how slow you think everyone else is moving, but they’re not.

#79

That I am unable to make decisions on my own without getting the opinions of others first. Not sure it’s insane but I didn’t realize I was doing it til it was mentioned…😳

#80

That the only way to break generational trauma cycles is by refusing to live with secrets- the day I refused to do anything in life that I would be ashamed of the world knowing, I began to heal.

#81

“Do you trust yourself to handle it if this fear comes true?” Usually the answer is yes.

#82

Sometimes people’s shame, guilt, and fear, is greater than their capacity to be honest.

#83

My mom’s a narcissistic a**ser and I’ve been wasting my time for 34 of trying to impress her.

#84

I don’t have to tell everyone every mistake I make, most of them I can keep to myself.

#85

My therapist said “who’s the most judgmental person you know?” I said “my mother.” And she said frustratedly “NO!!! YOU!!” 😂😂😂

#86

Observe don’t absorb.

#87

Just recently I was upset that someone treated me badly and I said it sucked bc they knew those things would hurt me. The therapist goes, “They haven’t thought about the way you feel in six months.”

#88

YOU can move on with YOUR life, even if the relationship doesn’t.

#89

My therapist always reassured me that I’m doing enough and that i can live my life at my own pace. I don’t have to be at the same point in life as my friends just because we‘re the same age. It’s my life. I can do whatever I want.

#90

I thought most of my issues came from my sister having cancer as a kid. Turns out, if she hadn’t been sick, I would still feel this way, cause my parents were emotionally unavailable my whole life…