One minute you’re partying together, having fun and stumbling through the door just before dawn. The next, you’re in your mom era and the only time you see each other is at the kids’ parties, or over a chaotic lunch somewhere that has a play area. Having children can change the dynamics of a friendship. Some besties even drift apart as mom-life gets in the way.
In an amazing twist of fate, three close-knit girlfriends all had their kids on the same date, but in different years. It seemed perfect. Until it wasn’t… One of them has shared how the friendship is falling apart after the kids’ parties clashed. It’s a tale of entitlement, pettiness and grown-ups acting like children… And once you’ve read it, don’t miss the chat Bored Panda had with etiquette expert Rosalinda Randall about how best to navigate situations like this.
Planning a kid’s birthday can be a super stressful and time-consuming affair
Image credits: zinkevych / freepik (not the actual photo)
Now imagine being told to cancel everything at the last minute so your child can attend someone else’s!
Image credits: kshlimovich / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: EmilyStock / freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: UnitedUnicorns007
“No one likes a bossy friend”: an etiquette expert weighs in
Image credits: eugeneshemyakin9 / freepik (not the actual photo)
“Lauren was wrong.” Etiquette expert and author Rosalinda Randall didn’t skip a beat when we relayed the story to her. She said there’s no doubt that the mom of the 2-year-old didn’t go about things properly.
“What made her think or assume that her friends would attend when they clearly told her they wouldn’t and why they couldn’t?” Randall pondered.
She added it was unreasonable for Lauren to expect the other two moms to cancel only a few days prior to the party. “It would have put her friends in a bad spot,” Randall told Bored Panda. “That’s because the party was being held at a venue, and they would have no doubt forfeited their deposit. They would have to contact every partygoer to inform them of the cancellation.”
Of course, the two birthday boys would likely be devastated after being super excited about their combined party. “They’d not only be disappointed and probably embarrassed, but then they’d have to endure a two-year-old girl party,” added Randall. “On the other hand, the little girl would not have known the difference if the date was switched.”
The etiquette expert said that it’s inevitable that the three would plan their kids’ birthday parties on the same day at some point. “In this case, if Lauren placed so much importance on her daughter turning two, you’d think invitations would have gone out sooner than a few days prior,” she told us.
“No one likes a bossy friend,” says Randall, adding that you can be reasonable even when you’re disappointed. “Lauren could have accepted the glitch and wished her friends a good time. Or, she could have switched her 2-year-old’s party to a later time or the next day.” It’s not like they share a guest list, she told us.
The expert says Lauren’s reaction was unnecessary. “Instead of cutting off the two friends when they called the next day, she could have expressed her disappointment,” explained Randall. “They would have probably generously apologized, everyone would have shared photos and moved on.”
We asked Randall how the friends should handle their kids’ birthday parties going forward. “If celebrating each other’s children’s birthday is a priority, you all need to communicate two months in advance,” she replied. “Discuss dates, pick one and stick to it.”
And to Lauren, Randall had this to say: “Lauren, it’s time to get it together, grow up, humble up, and make the call. You were the one to cut them off, you are the one who needs to open the door to a conversation and apologize.”
However, Randall told Bored Panda that if this is typical behavior for Lauren, the two other women should “do what you’ve probably always done; give her a little time, call her and schedule a regular get together.”
“Main character syndrome”: netizens didn’t mince their words
Some felt that none of the moms were jerks in this situation
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