“They’re Just Gross Little Explosions Of Salt And Sadness”: 30 Foods And Drinks People Are Only Pretending To Like


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Article created by: Kotryna Br

Everyone’s got their favorite dishes, that’s no surprise to anyone. But if we’re being brutally honest, there are some food items that make us go ‘Yuck!’ and ‘Ew!’ really loudly in our heads… though we just don’t vocalize all of that because we’re in polite company. We have to at least pretend that we’re ‘normal.’

That’s one of the perks of Reddit: you can (semi)anonymously share your real thoughts and feelings on a topic. It’s great—cathartic even—to get the fact that you really hate what most others enjoy off your chest. Redditor u/Aarunascut started up a fascinating thread on r/AskMen, asking people to share the foods that they think people only pretend to like.

We’ve collected the very best comments to share with you, dear Pandas, so scroll down and check out what everyone thinks. Which answers do you agree with? Which of the food items that were mentioned do you genuinely enjoy and why? What do you love and hate the most? Share your opinions in the comments!

A lot of the food items in this list (especially the seafood and veggies) are actually quite healthy. Bored Panda got in touch with health and fitness coach Anna Armagno Toussaint who shared her wisdom about the food groups that it’s best to focus on and avoid, what to do if what you’re constantly eating tastes bland, and how to deal with cravings for your favorite not-so-healthy (junk) foods. You’ll find our full interview with the coach below, Pandas. Read on and check it out!

#1

Green Smoothies (the ones with no fruit or sugar in them). There’s no way your carrot, beetroot, kale, and spinach smoothie with an extra shot of turmeric tastes like anything other than a donkey’s booty hole….

Image credits: igfxreapers

#2

Oysters.

Tastes like dirty sea water and has the texture of snot.

Image credits: DukeVonTitle

#3

American cheese, I don’t know how anyone likes this plastic fake food

Image credits: poisedred

#4

Escargot. The sheer amount of melted butter and garlic it’s served with tells me enough to know that no one actually likes the snail part.

Image credits: raw_toast

#5

Black licorice. It’s the worst flavour and it lingers

Image credits: GNU_PTerry

#6

Super hot chilli sauces. They burn the inside of your mouth to the point where you cannot tell what the food it is on tastes like.
Ghost pepper sauce on beef, chicken or fish castrate the experience of food.
Those spices are nature’s way discouraging eating.
I often assume that they were developed as a way to hide rotting meat.

Image credits: Valzar1954

#7

Vegan “cheese”

Image credits: sweergirl86204

#8

Well done steak.

It destroys the flavour and texture, you may as well just save yourself some money and buy chicken instead.

Image credits: polly_pocket1989

#9

Kombucha

Image credits: jungleismassivv

#10

Offal and tripe

Image credits: Brizzo7

#11

Kale

Edit: If you’re going to defend kale, stop. Save your comment. It tastes like sad.

Image credits: SwordMasterShadow

#12

Vegetarian meat alternatives for mince beef, chicken breast and sausages etc. I would rather replace meat with a tasty veggie rather than have a mouthful of something with the wrong flavour and consistency.

Image credits: MrTickleMePink

#13

Caviar. I’d like some salt paste, please, for $100 a scoop.

Image credits: Raspberries-Are-Evil

#14

Blood sausage. (retch)

Food made on a dare or what?

Image credits: teknomanzer

#15

Stuff with gristle or tendons or tons of fat, like the thick strips of fat on the outside of pork chops

Image credits: Sanchastayswoke

#16

Not a food, but Cilantro. Tastes like literal soap too me, but people say otherwise.

#17

Freaking matcha. It’s like drinking fish water.

Image credits: a17sr03

#18

Liver

#19

Durian, texture, smell, everything about it.

Image credits: flutter4ab

#20

Tonic water. It’s like angry poison water why would anyone drink that on purpose?

#21

Anything pumpkin spice. None for me, thanks. Is it really that delicious? Or is it just fashionable?

#22

Capers. They’re just gross little explosions of salt and sadness.

Image credits: Dandals

#23

Blue Cheese.

Image credits: gravygotch

#24

Truffles / truffle oil. Smells and tastes like the bottom of a laundry hamper to me

Image credits: tboess


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